Kreed RevereIf shame worked, estrangement wouldn't exist. In order to repair, you need curiosity, which is slower than shame. It's also the only one of the two that's ever actually worked.
Kreed RevereThe work of healing is learning to separate two questions: What is happening between my child and me? and What is happening inside of me because of it?
Kreed RevereMany parents believe they're helping while unknowingly teaching a child that love is contingent on self-correction. That if they can just be a little less emotional, the relationship will finally feel peaceful. That isn't peace. That's adaptation.
Kreed RevereFinding the right words isn't finding the perfect sentence. It's noticing the moment your body reaches for one, and getting curious about it instead of either grabbing for it or shaming yourself for wanting it.
