The Questions Nobody Asked
Advice says: I already know what this means and what you should do. Curiosity says: help me understand what this is like for you.

Advice says: I already know what this means and what you should do. Curiosity says: help me understand what this is like for you.

The work of healing is learning to separate two questions: What is happening between my child and me? and What is happening inside of me because of it?

There's a sentence estranged parents hear that lands like a verdict: you knew better, and you just didn't do better.

Many parents believe they're helping while unknowingly teaching a child that love is contingent on self-correction. That if they can just be a little less emotional, the relationship will finally feel peaceful. That isn't peace. That's adaptation.