Kreed RevereIf shame worked, estrangement wouldn't exist. In order to repair, you need curiosity, which is slower than shame. It's also the only one of the two that's ever actually worked.
Kreed RevereAdvice says: I already know what this means and what you should do. Curiosity says: help me understand what this is like for you.
Kreed RevereRather than asking, "Why doesn't my adult child need me anymore?" perhaps we should begin asking, "What can I offer that cannot be found anywhere else?" The answer isn't information. It's relationship.
Kreed RevereControl is what fear looks like when it needs somewhere to go. Underneath almost every angry response is something more vulnerable: fear, grief, shame, helplessness.
