Kreed RevereIf shame worked, estrangement wouldn't exist. In order to repair, you need curiosity, which is slower than shame. It's also the only one of the two that's ever actually worked.
Kreed RevereAdvice says: I already know what this means and what you should do. Curiosity says: help me understand what this is like for you.
Kreed RevereFitting in asks the child to determine who they need to be in the relationship. Belonging allows the child to remain recognizable to themselves. If fitting in was the price of attachment, learning to belong to oneself may initially require distance.
Kreed RevereThe pain of losing contact with your child doesn't sit still. It moves. It reaches. It looks for a place to go. And almost universally, it keeps reaching toward the same place: the person who caused it.
