Kreed RevereIf shame worked, estrangement wouldn't exist. In order to repair, you need curiosity, which is slower than shame. It's also the only one of the two that's ever actually worked.
Kreed RevereRather than asking, "Why doesn't my adult child need me anymore?" perhaps we should begin asking, "What can I offer that cannot be found anywhere else?" The answer isn't information. It's relationship.
Kreed RevereControl is what fear looks like when it needs somewhere to go. Underneath almost every angry response is something more vulnerable: fear, grief, shame, helplessness.
Kreed RevereThe cultural argument has a bit of truth. Culture does shape how estrangement is understood and normalized. AND there is a significant difference between culture shapes how estrangement is understood and culture is why your child left.
